Everyone knows the show Friends. Whether you loved it or hated it you know the show, you know the characters. If you don’t then I guess you’ve been living under a rock, which is only cool if you live in Bikini Botton. But anyways, what a lot of you may not have realized is the rampant drug use by these characters when we’re not watching. As BCMG’s resident expert on all things drugs and alcohol, it is my duty to enlighten you.
Joey Tribbiani is a pothead
Yeah I know, weed Isn’t a drug. I don’t consider it one either, but in the nineties things were a little bit different... and there’s no doubt in my mind that Mr. Tribbiani indulges in the Devil’s Lettuce. I mean how can you deny it? He’s a relatively successful TV actor with a LOT of free time throughout the course of the show, who we see prank call Chandler at work at least once a week. That’s something that’s only funny that many times if you're stoned. What does he do besides that? Well he watches a lot of TV, he loves the movie Die Hard and he is ALWAYS hungry. And that is because he’s fucking stoned At all times. Good for you Joey.
Phoebe is on an eternal Acid trip
I mean this is pretty obvious right? This is a woman that convinced herself that her deceased mother had reincarnated in a stray cat. When faced with the realization that she can change her name to anything she wants, she settles on Princess Consuela Banana Hammock. That’s not the only Alias she has either, as at times she goes full on into this character of Dr. Regina Phalange. On top of all this, she spends a lot of her free time writing weird songs about Smelly Cat’s to play on acoustic guitar at the coffee shop for seemingly no money and no applause. Yet Phoebe doesn‘t care because she’s too high to care. The character of Phoebe is just a hippie living in Manhattan in the 90’s. Hippies drop acid and so does Phoebe.
Rachel is an alcoholic
This is a tougher one to see, but alcoholics can be pretty good at hiding their habits, I know from experience. In one episode while she’s living with Joey, a man known to love his beers, Joey has no beers in the fridge, but Rachel has a bottle of vodka stashed on top of the fridge. While the Friends are in Vegas, Rachel peer pressures Ross into drinking heavily in her hotel room by their lonesome and then ups the ante by peer pressuring the drunken man into marrying her. All of this is her idea and yet after the fact, she puts all burden of getting an anullment on the shoulders of Ross, whose just a victim of her drunken antics. Also Phoebe theorizes that Rachel has a drinking problem while talking about everyone’s futures, and people constantly tripping on LSD have inside knowledge of the future. Just ask Dre.
Monica has a severe cocaine problem
The most Hardcore drug on here is the easiest one to prove. If you’ve ever known a coke head, and I‘ve known a few, then you know that Monica Gellar is one. First off, Monica is severely hyper-energetic as we can see with her constant cleaning. You can call that a mild case of OCD, but then you remember that Monica has car cleaning products in case she ever wants to go out and start washing cars on the block, even though she doesn’t own one. That’s an idea you get on cocaine. Just watch the episode where she tries getting into selling stocks, the constant flip-flopping of what she’s buying/selling, the yelling at the TV, I’m surprised she’s not just ripping Gagger’s off the table. Then you factor in the extreme weight loss by the character, which again can be done with a steady diet of blow and cigarettes. On top of all this, Monica never has any money and she’s really got no reason to always be so broke. She’s an executive chef at high end restaurants in Manhattan (an industry where cocaine use runs rampant) so we have to assume she’s fairly well paid and we know that her loft is kept at a reasonable price by rent control laws. Yet right after losing a job she’s immediately worried about making rent and has to borrow $2,000 off Joey. The only logical conclusion when you consider all this is that Monica Gellar loves her cocaine.
I am not going to make any jokes about this character using drugs as it is widely known the actor Matthew Perry was battling an addiction to painkillers the first few seasons of the show and as far as we know has been clean since. So Respect where it’s due.
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